we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
