We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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