Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
