plz talk dirty to me
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
