Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
