Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We left an ass print on the piano.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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