How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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