god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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