I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize