i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
