dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
