we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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