that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
my poor anus
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
