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Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
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