Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial

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(404): Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial http://tfl.nu/i0mg

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(513): View more from Ohio

some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page

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(513): some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page http://tfl.nu/1sgh

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad

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(570): the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad http://tfl.nu/6zrt

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.

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(608): This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night. http://tfl.nu/r58q

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.

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(605): I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum. http://tfl.nu/8vy8

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(240): View more from Maryland

I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.

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(240): I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you. http://tfl.nu/xn7n

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(802): View more from Vermont

just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!

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(802): just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke! http://tfl.nu/q0f1

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way

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(508): Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way http://tfl.nu/8wap

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(864): View more from South Carolina

its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.

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(864): its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/4cn9

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(727): View more from Florida

it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...

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(727): it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ... http://tfl.nu/w5eb

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(914): View more from New York

The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted

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(914): The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted http://tfl.nu/dd19

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(302): View more from Delaware

Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad

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(302): Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad http://tfl.nu/cr01

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(937): View more from Ohio

Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent

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(937): Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent http://tfl.nu/u4ks

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(850): View more from Florida

Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."

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(850): Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening." http://tfl.nu/4kvm

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.

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(202): As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap. http://tfl.nu/n79z

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