no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.