As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?