In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.