still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
