RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
