I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
