Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize