did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
