Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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