DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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