you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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