what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
