You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
