can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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