I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
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How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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