and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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