You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
