Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Hippo gnu deer
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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