There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
