You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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