I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
