im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i out mim tonsoeep
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