just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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