member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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