i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
