it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We are two peas in an std pod
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
