I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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