i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
im six kinds of drunk right now
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
