I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
