Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
