I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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