Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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