Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.

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  (512): clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar. http://tfl.nu/1hcy
  Replies (10) Good night (680) Bad night (1637)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol

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  (603): i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol http://tfl.nu/nbdg
  Replies (28) Good night (5937) Bad night (577)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I have so much to learn from you, wise slut

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  (812): Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!" (219): I have so much to learn from you, wise slut http://tfl.nu/eyww
  Replies (20) Good night (3727) Bad night (827)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?

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  (401): how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards? http://tfl.nu/ktqz
  Replies (67) Good night (17238) Bad night (2025)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it

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  (954): i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it http://tfl.nu/cllt
  Replies (28) Good night (697) Bad night (5562)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.

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  (412): girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid. http://tfl.nu/vm0r
  Replies (10) Good night (3516) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.

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  (954): Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish. http://tfl.nu/zg18
  Replies (25) Good night (4908) Bad night (1162)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.

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  (727): It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together. http://tfl.nu/hikf
  Replies (30) Good night (954) Bad night (5102)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.

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  (810): Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be. http://tfl.nu/ssx0
  Replies (5) Good night (2182) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in

  (1-423): View more from Tennessee

  Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home

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  (423): I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in (1-423): Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home http://tfl.nu/1crt
  Replies (4) Good night (560) Bad night (1138)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.

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  (970): A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is. http://tfl.nu/20fb
  Replies (2) Good night (997) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Lets go hit some boners bro!

  (1-989): View more from Michigan

  I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.

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  (989): Lets go hit some boners bro! (1-989): I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk. http://tfl.nu/w0yr
  Replies (7) Good night (2441) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day

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  (419): I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day http://tfl.nu/2i69
  Replies (1) Good night (625) Bad night (237)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.

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  (651): possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer. (651): also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some. http://tfl.nu/7hdm
  Replies (6) Good night (319) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.

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  (989): No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to. http://tfl.nu/2okj
  Replies (2) Good night (410) Bad night (203)

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