Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.

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(401): If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side. http://tfl.nu/pfes

Replies (15) Good night (4498) Bad night (675)
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(954): View more from Florida

You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.

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(954): You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone. http://tfl.nu/c0ys

Replies (33) Good night (4077) Bad night (750)
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(224): View more from Illinois

Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.

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(224): Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped. http://tfl.nu/31qz

Replies (32) Good night (4105) Bad night (769)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.

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(859): I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver. http://tfl.nu/rtt7

Replies (2) Good night (889) Bad night (3011)
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(513): View more from Ohio

There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.

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(513): There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer. http://tfl.nu/7obs

Replies (13) Good night (4183) Bad night (1033)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.

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(816): Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower. http://tfl.nu/cq6t

Replies (41) Good night (1634) Bad night (13565)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?

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(541): Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl? http://tfl.nu/31z4

Replies (5) Good night (2078) Bad night (989)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.

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(865): Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts. http://tfl.nu/is6y

Replies (7) Good night (1614) Bad night (846)
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(515): View more from Iowa

Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.

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(515): Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself. http://tfl.nu/ezc4

Replies (9) Good night (1535) Bad night (533)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.

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(306): This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks. http://tfl.nu/6laj

Replies (4) Good night (1842) Bad night (452)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.

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(612): We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door. http://tfl.nu/fjm6

Replies (2) Good night (835) Bad night (391)
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(916): View more from California

There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going

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(916): There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going http://tfl.nu/cnx7

Replies (0) Good night (401) Bad night (485)
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(253): View more from Washington

Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"

(425): View more from Washington

You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk

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(253): Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?" (425): You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk http://tfl.nu/1uaf

Replies (1) Good night (885) Bad night (394)
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(347): View more from New York

Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..

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(347): Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that.. http://tfl.nu/n8po

Replies (4) Good night (619) Bad night (482)
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(352): View more from Florida

A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text

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(352): A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text http://tfl.nu/2s6y

Replies (3) Good night (342) Bad night (121)

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