32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
make that 40.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
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His hands were made for my vagina.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
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I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
my nose is crying tears of wow.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.