Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece