Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess

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  (603): i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess http://tfl.nu/ousq
  Replies (24) Good night (909) Bad night (2665)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.

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  (519): I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes. http://tfl.nu/14d6
  Replies (14) Good night (4325) Bad night (1442)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD

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  (845): Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD http://tfl.nu/xg03
  Replies (18) Good night (6412) Bad night (738)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!

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  (503): i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly! http://tfl.nu/tm2j
  Replies (63) Good night (8125) Bad night (3278)
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  (650): View more from California

  they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.

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  (650): they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids. http://tfl.nu/zjz8
  Replies (6) Good night (7521) Bad night (988)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.

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  (613): I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/hw5l
  Replies (9) Good night (3425) Bad night (977)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."

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  (401): Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it." http://tfl.nu/3dma
  Replies (5) Good night (1844) Bad night (966)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  There were penises being pulled out everywhere.

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  (216): There were penises being pulled out everywhere. http://tfl.nu/fw5r
  Replies (17) Good night (2031) Bad night (792)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  Oh God.

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  (919): DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT??? (1-919): Oh God. http://tfl.nu/z02g
  Replies (20) Good night (4672) Bad night (703)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?

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  (404): It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar? http://tfl.nu/lonp
  Replies (6) Good night (1416) Bad night (705)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne

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  (360): last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne http://tfl.nu/35hl
  Replies (8) Good night (2293) Bad night (471)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?

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  (518): I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine? http://tfl.nu/b7b9
  Replies (4) Good night (1116) Bad night (500)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil

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  (757): I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil http://tfl.nu/9nrx
  Replies (7) Good night (1018) Bad night (1129)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles

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  (808): Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles http://tfl.nu/r6w3
  Replies (8) Good night (961) Bad night (483)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight

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  (717): I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight http://tfl.nu/6mb9
  Replies (2) Good night (774) Bad night (351)

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