she was so not down for the gang bang
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
