I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize