so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I had to cum in my sink.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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