Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just found puke in my bra..
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
