If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
