I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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