We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
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He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
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Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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