Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize